When Your Own Wisdom Comes Back to Smack You 🤦♀️

Ever had that moment when your coaching wisdom boomerangs back and hits you square in the face? Not a gentle tap, I’m talking about the kind of cosmic smackdown that feels like being blindsided by a rogue yoga ball at a company retreat.

Yeah, that happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

As your friendly neighbourhood supervisor (that’s my “let’s shine mirrors and name blind spots” hat), I’m here to ask the question that makes us all uncomfortable:

How well are you actually living what you coach?

Buckle up. This one’s going to sting a little 😬

The Smartwatch Incident (AKA My Mindfulness Fail)

Picture this: Me, in my zen yoga room. Candles lit. Mat rolled out. Ready to practice what I preach about presence and mindfulness.

I close my eyes. I breathe deeply. I invite stillness…

PING! PING! PING!

My “smart” watch decides it’s smarter than me. Notifications explode like popcorn:

• Email from that client
• Slack from the team
• Calendar reminder
• “Hey, you haven’t hit your steps!”
• Another email
• LinkedIn notification

Suddenly, my serene yoga room sounds like an over-caffeinated bell choir🛎️

And there I am, the coach who thinks and presents ‘presence’ getting hijacked by my own wrist computer.

The uncomfortable truth? My nervous system had more pings than a teenager’s phone, and I was about as mindful as a caffeinated squirrel.

The Client Who Called Me Out (Bless Her)

Last month, one of my clients dropped this truth bomb mid-session:

“You keep telling me to breathe, but mmm…..I’ve never actually seen you take a deep breath.”

Ouch.

Did it sting? Absolutely. Was she wrong? Not even a little bit. Was it the most valuable supervision I’ve ever received? 💯

That moment reminded me of something crucial: Your clients can smell incongruence even from across the Zoom room.

They might not call it out (most won’t), but they feel it. And that feeling either builds trust or quietly erodes it.

The Uncomfortable Truth About the State of You

The state you bring into the room matters more than your clever questions.

Why? Science, my friends:

🧠 Mirror neurons don’t wait for your brilliant reframe; they’re reading your vibe instantly

😰 Emotional contagion is real. Your calm spreads, but your agitation spreads faster

🌊 You’re swimming in systemic waters and the “always-on” culture affects you too

When I finally took that awkwardly loud, audible breath, my client called me out for? That single inhale shifted our entire session more than any coaching question I could have asked.

What’s the Gap?

Here’s what supervision has taught me:

The gap between what you teach and what you embody isn’t hypocrisy; it’s information.

Information about:

• Your conditioning
• Your system’s demands
• Where you’re swimming upstream

We live in a culture that rewards “always-on” and then expects ourselves to embody stillness like it’s a light switch.

It’s not!!!

Reality Check: What’s Your Smartwatch?

Let’s get real for a hot minute. What’s hijacking your presence right when you’re trying to model it?

Is it:

📱 The phone that’s “just checking” during sessions?

🏃♀️ The rushing energy you bring from back-to-back calls?

😤 The held breath when clients hit their edge (and yours)?

🤯 The mental to-do list running background loops?

Drop a 🙋♀️ in the comments and tell me your “oops” moment. I promise to share mine back.

The 30-Second State Scan (Your New Best Friend)

Want to align what you teach with what you embody? Try this before your next session:

Step 1: Pause (yes, actually pause)

Step 2: Ask: “What state am I in right now?”

Step 3: Notice your breath (is it held? shallow? rushed?)

Step 4: Take one audible exhale (I’m talking loud enough to hear)

Step 5: Reset your intention

Time investment: 30 seconds

ROI: Exponential

What Clients Actually Need (And It’s Not Perfection)

Here’s what your clients don’t need: A perfectly zen coach who never gets triggered.

Here’s what they desperately need: Congruence.

Congruence isn’t flawlessness; it’s alignment between your words and your state. It’s modelling the messy middle. It’s saying:

“I notice I’m rushing right now. Let me take a breath with you.”

If we only model perfect presence, we’re selling a fantasy. And fantasies don’t help anyone grow.

Supervision Confessions (The Stuff We Don’t Talk About)

Can we be honest about some supervision gold I’ve witnessed?

The Rusher: A coach who always ran sessions 10 minutes over until supervision revealed her fear of not being “enough” unless she over-delivered.

The Busy Badge: A leader who confused constant motion with leadership presence until he realised he was modelling burnout for his entire team.

The System Victim: A new coach beating herself up for distraction until she realised her organisation’s 147 emails a day culture was the real hijacker.

None of these were personal failures. They were systemic patterns that needed conscious interruption.

Your Supervision Challenge

Time to get uncomfortable (but in a good way):

This week, ask yourself:

1. What coaching principle do I talk about but secretly wrestle with?
2. What state am I unconsciously bringing that undermines my message?
3. What’s my “smartwatch equivalent” that hijacks my presence?

Then do this:

• Name it (to yourself, to supervision, to a trusted colleague)
• Normalise it (you’re human, not a presence robot)
• Practice shifting it (one breath at a time)

The Bottom Line

Sometimes the most transformational moment in a session doesn’t start with a brilliant question.

Sometimes it starts with the quietest, most awkwardly audible inhale.

Sometimes the gap between what we teach and what we embody isn’t a character flaw. It’s the most human thing about us.

And sometimes, that humanity is exactly what our clients need to see.

Over to You, Coaching Fam

Share your supervision “oops” moment below. What’s the gap between what you coach and what you embody? Let’s normalise the messy middle together.

Tag a coaching colleague who needs this reality check (but do it with love 😉).

Use #SupervisionConfessions to keep this conversation going.

We grow faster when we stop performing perfection and start practising presence; awkward exhales and all🤷♀️

What coaching truth are you ready to get honest about? Drop it in the comments. I’ll be here, taking audible breaths and probably getting pinged by my smartwatch.

#SupervisionConfessions #CoachingPresence #EmbodiedLeadership #StateMatters #ICFMCC #EMCCSupervisor #CoachingReality #PracticeWhatYouCoach